Likewise, the women-first messaging rule seeks to address a backward social convention that Wolfe believes has only gotten worse with the advent of online dating and texting.“I personally can tell you that all my girlfriends — and many women I’ve spoken to — have this fear of being perceived as desperate or forward when they want to approach a man,” Wolfe said.But we've got news for you: we need to get our arses in gear and start chatting first.Because new research carried out by OK Cupidproves that women who message men first yield more success in the dating field.“It was always, ‘He must text you first’ — but why? Despite its length (and looking a little like gibberish) it is actually described as “the most succinct word” because it defines a feeling that is so familiar, almost everyone can relate to it – “a look shared by two people, each wishing that the other will offer something that they both desire but are unwilling to suggest or offer themselves.” After thinking about this behavior, I began to wonder if something similar occurred when online dating.The dating site analysed the behaviour of 70,000 users, and discovered that heterosexual women who make the first move are times more likely to gain a response than a man who messages first. And if you think about it, society has drummed into us that we shouldn't be the ones to be proactive. Dating app Happn, which allows you to match and initiate contact with fellow subscribers you pass in the street, found that a staggering 50% of their female users NEVER make the first move.We might spend ten minutes swiping right or left on Tinder, but following that do we pay much attention to the matches who don't spark up conversation with us? Comparing that to men, on the other hand, who initiate conversation 94% of the time, it seems ridiculous. Because in historical times it's been the And that's the whole concept dating app Bumble is built around: only women can start conversations.
Perhaps men view this as a means to closing the gap between these “offline” dating expectations when the conversation is starting online.
Maybe it’s time to look at online dating as a means to be yourself and not shy away from going for what you really want!
Warren, As a woman I feel a little strange about making the first move, and yet I see matches I would really like to begin exchanging messages with.
Chances are, guys will be grateful for the attention.
That’s the promise from Bumble, an 8-month-old app that’s adding a new algorithm to grade users on metrics like engagement and, well, whether they’re demanding to see you naked.